The View (with Meredith Viera, Star Jones, Joy Behar and cohost finalist Erin Hershey Presley)
November 11, 2003
transcribed by Ada

Erin Hershey Presley: Actor Colin Firth has been charming audiences in films like Shakespeare in Love, Bridget Jonesís Diary and now heís won them over again in a funny romantic comedy called Love Actually. Take a look. [clip of lake scene] Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Colin Firth!

[Enters from stage left, walks across to sofas, with crowd cheering wildly]

Colin Firth: Hello, hello.

Erin: Your movie is great!

Colin: Thank you.

Erin: I went to go see it over the weekend and the LA audiences were clapping and cheering afterwards.

Colin: (muttering) Thatís great

Erin: You know, thatís good.

Joy Behar: Itís an adorable movie, but itís not cloying. Itís funny.

Colin: Okay.

Joy: You know that, like you were really caught [gestures toward hip area] caught on pants.

Colin: Okay, yeah. Okay, yeah.

Erin: Now, in this film, you play a writer who falls in love with his Portuguese housekeeper.

Colin: Yes.

Erin: And yíall canít communicate because of the language barrier. You had to learn Portuguese, quite a bit of it. Was that tough?

Colin: I learned one page of Portuguese. Itís not quite the same thing.

Erin: Well, was it, was it hard to be able to...and how many times did you have to start over?

Colin: Many, many times. I mean, I was going to make claims for my Portuguese until I found out that somebody here is Portuguese.

Meredith Viera: Iím Portuguese.

Erin: Are you really, Meredith?

Colin: Yes.

Meredith: But I donít speak Portuguese.

Colin: You donít?

Meredith: I never learned. Do you know how to sayó

Colin: (interrupting) Oh! Now! Then Iím fluent!

Meredith: Do you know how to say ďI love youĒ in Portuguese?

Colin: Iíd think, youíd probably, I think itís, ďte amo,Ē I would imagine or something.

Meredith: Look at me and say it now. [laughter]

Colin: (deeper voice) Te amo.

Meredith: Oh, thatís lovely.

Colin: Itís, uh...

Meredith: You donít say that in the film, though.

Colin: No, but I say it all wrong. So I, uh, I say things like...umÖ ďIíve comes to ask the hands of your daughter. I know, I seems madĒ and ití know, itís basically the comedy of miscommunication. I tend to find I have a language barrier anyway with everybody, a little bit.

Joy: Why do you say that?

Colin: Well, because, wherever you travel, you tend to find youíre divided by a common language. I mean you, you have a word and I have a word and we think weíve got it in common and in fact it means completely different things to everybody.

Joy: Thatís true. We donít say lift for example (Colin: Yeah) unless weíre talking about our boobs.

Colin: No. [Laughter]

Joy: But you guys use the elevator as the lift.

Colin: Well, you talk about fanny and that means something very different in this country. You could get into all sorts of trouble if youíre an English person...

Star Jones: Now you are co-starring again, or I should say reunited, with Hugh Grant in this film and then again in one of my very favorite movies of all time, Bridget Jonesís Diary, the sequel. [Lots of reaction from the audience, screaming and yelling] I love it! And every girl I know fell madly in love with you when you told her that you like her just like she is. [large smiles all around]

Colin: Ohhhhmmmm [Does his low-in-throat chuckle]

Star: I canít believe it, Iím verklempt!  [hands appropriately fanning self] I, I still am! So, youíre still fighting over Renee Zellweger in this movie, right?

Colin: Yes, we are and, in fact, it...itís, uh, an odd way to put it that Hugh and I come together again because what all we do is fight really. I mean this is my third movie with Hugh and all weíve done is pull each otherís hair, scratch each other, uhm, you know itís not exactly very manly.

Meredith: That means youíre secretly attracted to each other.

Joy: Oh, my God!

Meredith: Thatís what it means when you psychoanalyze...If youíre always fighting...

Colin: Thatís very secret.

Erin: You guys are a good team though.

Star: Has anyone ever gotten really hurt?

Colin: (totally deadpan) Hugh gets hurt quite a lot. [Lots of laughter]

Erin: Thatís a perfect response!

Colin: Hmmmm

Erin: Yeah, your grandparents were missionaries in Nigeria. You, youíve spent a lot of your childhood there, did you not?

Colin: Yeah, my grandparents were missionaries, uh, in India.  I was raised in Nigeria until I was about four.

Erin: What was that like?

Colin: Well, I was four. [Laughter, Joy obviously getting a huge kick out of that answer] So, uh...

Erin: Well, yeah.

Colin: Itís, uh, funnily enough, I do, I do have memories or think I have memories. Iíve got a little playbacks, you know [makes rewind gestures toward his head]

Joy: Have you ever been, have you always been naturally funny, cause you are just funny [Erin: I know] even though youíre gorgeous.

Colin: Yes, uhÖjust naturally hilarious.

Star: And naturally gorgeous.

Colin: Except, except when I, um, I try to crack a joke then the smiles just wipe off on everyoneís faces.

Star: Speaking of naturally gorgeous, he was recently voted Britainís most sexiest film star.

Colin: Iíve got to tell myó

[Lots of yelling and cheering from audience and he appears to be blushing]

Star: Uh, so, Britainís most sexy film star has also been married to his wife, Livia, what, 1997?

Colin: Yes.

Star: So long a time. Look at you, face just cracked, okay [Colin smiles] and what does she think about the sexiest film star in Britain?

Colin: Well, I think, you know, when she sees that, she probably immediately wants to get on the phone to my mother and say ďWill you stop voting over and over.Ē

Star: Do you think it bothers her that all the girls think that youíre just, like, the catís meow?

Colin: You know, we, I donít, we donít really talk about it, very much. Itís notó

Joy: In Britain, they say dashing. Dashing.

Colin: Yes, I quite like dashing. I try to talk about it, but she just doesnít seem to. Eyes glaze over and, you know, gets that wearyó

Meredith: I want to congratulate you because you recently had a another son.  A little boy, Matteo.

Colin: Yes, yes. Thank you.

Meredith: This is so nice. And you, you have a 2-year old son, Luca? (Colin: Thatís right) and when he was born you called him ďbeautiful turnip.Ē

Colin: I donít know. Did I say beautiful?

Meredith: Yes, what you said, he looked like a beautiful turnip so...

Colin: Yeah, well, heís grown out of that.

Meredith: Yeah? What about Matteo? What does he look like?

Colin: Well, now, Matteo, uhm, he doesnít really look like anything agricultural. Heís a...Matte...Luca grew out, Luca grew out of the root vegetable phase when he was about 8 months. [Much laughter throughout]

Meredith: To more of a human sort...

Colin: Well, you know heís now an implausibly beautiful child actually. Heís so...But you kind of need eyelashes, donít you? And eyebrowsó

Meredith: Yes.

Colin:, teeth chin. Itó

Meredith: To fill out the picture, yes?

Colin: It adds, you know, I think, to the human. Usually, the...Call me conventional, but I, you know, uh...My idea of beauty involves these accessories.

[Roars of laughter from audience and View ladies.]

Erin: Ah! Accessories!

Colin: Now Matteo is beginning to develop signs of one day having those. And, uh, the only comparison...The head is, shaped a tiny bit like a kumquat.  Do you know those things?

Meredith: Yes.

Joy: Oh thatís adorable!

Colin: Thatís, thatís correcting itself now.

Erin: Well, if theyíre anything like their father, then thatís wonderful. Our thanks to Colin Firth. Your film is awesome! Love Actually is in theaters right now. Weíll be right back.

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